Jamaican Government Vote to Retain Hanging-Hoorah for Revenge!!!

The Jamaican parliament voted to retain the death penalty in Gordon House yesterday setting off wild cheers and celebration from a machete wielding mob of country people out side the building. The mob many suspected to be involved in vigilante justice said they were very pleased with the out come of the vote. The mood however was dampen when an official of the parliament inform the mob that the death penalty does not apply to goat thieves or people who steal produce and then sell it in the markets.

On the opposite side a group of inner-city women and children marched with signs “we want justice” claiming that they would protest their area leaders/dons being exposed to capital punishment, many who are suspected to be responsible for serious crimes including murder which would carry the death penalty. Many are concern that only “yutes” from the ghetto will die from the hangman’s noose. A protester said capital punishment: those without the capital get the punishment.

The MP’s were asked to affirm their support for the retention of the death penalty as specified in the Offences Against the Person Act in the main vote. A total 49 of the 60 members of parliament took part in the conscience vote. The remaining 11 members had no conscience and dodged to vote.

Scores of applicants’ descended on the ministry of Justice a day after the vote applying for job openings such as gallows maintenance supervisor and hangman. An official at the ministry however said that these positions were not yet being offered much to the disappointment of the revengeful sadistic applicants. Among those spotted were retired and rouge cops from the Jamaica Constabulary force looking to getting back into the killing business. Also spotted was a pastor from a well known church in Kingston a long time supporter of the death penalty.

The parliament still has to vote on the removal of the five-year stricture on carrying out the death penalty. A two-third majority is required to change the constitution to allow this. The Jamaican police however has its own shoot them immediately stricture, no witness minority.

Human rights activist Carolyn Gomes of Jamaicans for Justice spoke to the media and was visibly upset with the vote to retain the death penalty. She described the vote as a backward step and a distraction from the “real work” that needs to be done. She was concern that many cold harden killers would be put to death by the state.

In irony of ironies George William Gordon national hero who the parliament building is named after was himself hanged like a common criminal in 1865 at Morant Bay.

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~ by RB on November 26, 2008.

11 Responses to “Jamaican Government Vote to Retain Hanging-Hoorah for Revenge!!!”

  1. Unbelieveable!!!

  2. ESTEBAN –some of what I wrote is sarcasm not to be taken seriously

  3. A good bit of sarcasm it was too! I laughed the whole way through …

  4. with all the stree we need more laughs

  5. Duttybwoy,thanks for the explanation,because I was wondering, what the hell is going on!?

  6. Nicely written. Well let’s see how this all unfolds.

  7. i like! will hanging deter a fella? does the constabulary even catch the real criminals?

  8. This stuff is hysterical — this and the Criminals in parliament “article” a few weeks back made my day (respectively) when I read them.

  9. DB – Love it!! This piece works precisely because it is ridiculous enough that it could/might actually be true! Definitely Onion-worthy and should be reprinted for sure! [FYI – The Onion is a popular satirical newsweekly in the US: among the best lines so far: “Black Man asks Nation for Change” re: Barack Obama’s campaign for presidency]

  10. Longbench-Glad you like the Satire, As I said before I wish we laugh at ourselves especially with all the madness going on around us. It’s good therapy even if its not LOL.

    I love the Onion, I am an ardent reader of the website as well as several other satirical writings. I love it.

  11. […] Jamaican Government Vote to Retain Hanging-Hoorah for Revenge!!! […]

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